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Whale Tales: Thar She Was

Whale Tales: Thar She Was

Thar SHE was, all poetic and majestic. She was a humbly beast, but a beast none the less. Just a week earlier she had eluded me. Slipped right through my hands and whipped a shiny new bruise across my cheek. But not today. Today I was ready! Today the Sea was pitchin’ my vessel like the vocal chords of Brittany from Alabama Shakes. If I hadn’t made a plan earlier, this sea would have rocked me right to sleep. But I had my eyes locked on her now. She wouldn't be escapin' me twice!

That's when I saw the first glimpse of 'er.

She was bright white with little specks of gray on her underbelly. She was lookin' a bit thin but her tail spread out wide and strong. She’s got scars running down her length where others have failed. She wears them like a bad ass sailor tattoo. I’m sure they're to warn others not to feck with her, but feck, I did intend to do this day.

She glared at me, dripping wet and naked. Just as the sea pitched a bit to the left, I lunged for her neck. Water spilling and splashing all around my feet. I slipped all over the deck falling to my knees but alas, I had a hold of her! She was mine! I gathered my footing once again and I mopped the entire deck with her! Back and forth, putting her down in the soapy bucket and mopping some more.

Ya see the moral of the story, fellas, is never drink a bottle of rum and try to swab your deck. You'll end up bruised and having to tell "Whale Tails" of a story to explain them away.


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